The starting point is your mindset, but why does this matter?
The reason for mindset is that much of your negative thinking, many of the views you hold, hold you. The reason for this is because you believe that it serves you. You may believe that it is true, and that it keeps you safe. You may believe that it helps you to be in control, and to avoid painful outcomes.
Whatever it is that you believe can act as a barrier to your ability to bring about a permanent change in either your thoughts or behaviour?
How can you challenge the accusations and judgements, when you are the one who is making those accusations and where you are levelling the judgements at yourself?
So it is for this reason that we start off with mindset. Looking to help you adopt one that allows you to look differently at your thinking. A mindset which is both meaningful and proven to support the principals and objectives in which you believe.
This may not be relevant to you. You may recognise your thoughts and comments as insulting or self defeating.
But then again, you may also regard them fair statements. Admirable even.
You may find being highly critical valuable. “I am not going to accept second best”, “I need to own up to my mistakes” or “I’m won’t lie to myself just to make myself feel better”. Perhaps you are even afraid that if you stop worrying you will be caught off guard.
In fact it is exactly that fear that leaves many leaders micro managing their staff. Fearful of the consequences if they stop monitoring and closely managing each and every point in the process.
But as top performing organisations have discovered, aside from the huge toll on leadership resources, chronic stress and anxiety, this style of leadership de-motivates employees, kills productivity, and trains employees to disengage.
This ends up hurting the entire organization and undermining it’s ability to achieve it’s highest potential. In fact research goes on to reveal, that it very often leads to the precise outcome it sought to prevent.
Sound familiar? Well it should because this reflects both the content and outcome of your own thinking patterns.
So the objective is not to ignore your goals and ambitions, just as organisations have not sought to accept under performance and under achievement. Instead we can learn from these organisations which have looked to promoting a more collaborative approach in which different perspectives are invited and not silenced.
Where criticism and judgement are suspended in order to invite alternative ideas and facts that may better serve the business objective.
Where opinions are sought to expand options and opportunities for all.
This is precisely the same principal that is invited in the pursuit of justice which relies on defense council to not only evaluate the charges made and evidence offered by the prosecution, but also to bring it’s own evidence to the fore.
But that is the next lesson.